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6 The Fandom Closet (part 2)

I made a list of 100 things I should do that scare me. In 2020, I plan to complete all 100.


In my last post, I talked about how I sometimes play my “like”s close to the vest, that I’m self conscious about my taste in music and I won’t always let on that I’m emotionally invested in certain TV shows. I wrote about how I outed myself about a TV show to a coworker.


Today I took it a step further.


I spent a day out with my husband. We listened to various Spotify playlists in the car, and heard the radio playing in the background almost everywhere we went (restaurants, shopping centers, ice skating rink). Any time I heard a song I liked, I had to tell him, “I like this song.”


Totally nerve wracking for me . . . in theory. In practice, I hesitated a little before telling him about some of my guiltier pleasures, and I mitigated a little (“I know this song is dumb, but it makes me happy”), but he was really great.


He’d say things like, “Yeah, I see why you like it,” or “Yes, I like it too!” Actually, sometimes (often) he was distracted enough with whatever he was doing not to pay too much attention.


People (particularly my husband & closest friends) don’t really care what dumb songs I like and don’t like. Not enough to bother with making me feel humiliated. I mean, I guess I knew that.


This was an unplanned fear—I sort of decided to take the challenge on a whim at the start of our date yesterday. If I’d planned it, I might have called it level 3, but it really wasn’t bad at all, so I’ll downgrade it to level 2.

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